theivorypen

I blog in English, I write my stories in English. Now why would I do that? Why not write in my native language? The answer lies in feedback. Getting feedback on your writing is a huge hurdle for many writers, so they seek out fellow writers on online communities. There, they give and get feedback, inspiration and ideas.

Sadly, there are no Norwegian online communities for writers. There is simply not enough audience to keep such a site. The closest thing I have ever found is one that is aimed at poets.

So what is a girl to do? Well,  my dad always used to tell me, that English is the door to the world. And he was indeed right. I started writing in English around the age of 17. My vocabulary was joke, my grammar would have made my English-teacher cry and change profession, but it opened up a whole world of writing-blogs and communities aimed at all kinds of writers! Combine the fact that I always felt like an outsider, and my unusual interest in writing while living in a town of only 13 000 inhabitants, I finally felt I fit in somewhere. The Internet and the English language gave me a doorway to a place I belonged. Like I had found my long lost kin.

Naturally, I continued writing in English after this and it improved vastly. Today, I actually have problems writing in my native language. There is just no flow, it’s clumsy and weird, like the words are stuck. As soon as I switch over to English, it all just pours out of me. I still have my issues writing in English of course, and I probably always will, a foreign language is a foreign language no matter how much you practice.

So as weird as it might sound, I actually prefer writing in English! Which is a problem right now as I am trying to enter a writing contest held by a Norwegian publishing firm. Writing in Norwegian again has a few perks, but I mostly feel like I giving up on the contest and just write in English.

But I’m not good at giving up, never have been, never will be:)

After long absence I’m trying to get back into bloging, and, believe it or not; writing. I have not written anything over the last few months. At first it was just due to being job-less, but a short while ago a close family member passed away. Now, I have lost many family members to illness, but this time it was different. When someone takes their own life away, you end up sitting with a lot of why’s. Why was he in so much pain? Why didn’t he confine in someone? His brothers? His dad? Me? Anyone?

He wrote in the letters he left that nobody had to blame themselves, but I still think about if it could have been prevented if I was just there more. It wasn’t until after his death and when his letters were read by his younger brother that it hit me how similar we were. That kind of scares me too.

I haven’t started to write again yet, despite writing always have been my emotional outlet for me. It was where I turned when I was in emotional turmoil. This time I didn’t. It feels strange.

But I think my path into… writing-hood(?), will come through one of my other creative outlets. Drawing. I just started a drawing of a character in a short story I was working on before this dark cloud of depression covered me. And I’m gonna take that as a good sign. It means I have started to think about writing again at least, and hey, I’m writing this post aren’t I?:)

Rest in peace my dear cousin, I hope you finally found peace.

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Yes, I figured I had to give this a try. Now lets verify this thing and see what happens:)

Well, despite my rather unstable financial situation, I have managed to stay a little productive although I am unable to work on any of my bigger projects. I have tree short stories, and one is closing in on the finish line, so I thought I’d actually use my blog to share some of it, before it enters my wattpad account.

I tried to add a psychological sub-theme to it(I studied psychology after all), but I have never done it before so in the end it will probably just end up as a love story, lol! Oh well, there people who like that too:)

Unseen.

“Anna has everything a teenage-girl in High School could possibly want. Her best friends are Matthew and Melissa. Matt had been her best friend and neighbor for as long as she could remember. He was a athletic boy with brown hair and eyes. He was friendly, handsome and popular. But just because he was popular, he wasn’t a bully and picked on the nerds or the Emos or anything, he just left them alone. Though, he rarely was able to see things from other people’s perspective. And he never took a hint. Ever.

Melissa joined their duo in high school, and was a super tall girl, taller than Matt. She had legs as long as a year and always wore high heels to show it off. She had long, red hair, long lashes and seductive dark eyes. She had the curves of a Greek goddess and she’d cause a heart attack on a nerd if she passed him in the hall. But she was a Greek goddess with a keen eye. She was the opposite of Matt(opposites attract one-another, huh?), she picked up on every single gesture and eye movement and read anyone like an open book. And boy did she use it to her advantage. That’s how she became friends with Matt in the first place.

Being friends with these two gave Anna access to all the parties, concerts and happenings. Nobody picked on her, no one even spoke to her unless she spoke to them first. People separated when she came walking down the hallway, despite not having the looks like Matt and Melissa. Anna was a plain girl with sleek brown hair and hazel eyes. She was athletic and did good in sports like Matt. Melissa however dreaded them, and rather eat carrots for a whole week to keep her weight than actually exercise. Whenever Anna and Matt ate a burger she’d sit as far away as possible, like the calories could get into her body through diffusion. Not that Anna thought she even knew what that was.

But despite it all, Anna was miserable. It was like having pillowed stitched under your arms and always walking on a gold bar covered road. Everything was just handed to her all the time. Where was the adventure?

And then there was that thing. Anna’s dark secret. Anna has had a crush on Matt since she was 12, and still had not been able to convey the message. But at least she had successfully been able to hide it from gossip queen Melissa. That had to count for something.

But on the other hand, complaining over her situation while others tiptoed through the hallways trying to avoid their bullies, seemed so shallow. Anna felt like a spoiled brat as all she had to do was glare at them and they’d back off. She had the power to stop any bullying, but she didn’t.”

Stay posted for the update!